arrow00: (duetnoir)
[personal profile] arrow00
Title: When God Makes a Joke, Nobody's Laughing
Author: [livejournal.com profile] arrow00
Fandom: dS
Pairing: Fraser/RayK
Rating: R for violent image
Category: ER
Warning: None
Wordcount: 691
Notes: I was in bed trying to sleep when they made me do this.


When God Makes a Joke, Nobody's Laughing

By Arrow



Ray knew she was dead the first second he plunged through the apartment door, but he made himself walk over to her and put two fingers on her blood-spattered neck. Fraser shifted behind him, and Ray stood up with a sigh.

The domestic call had come in only twenty minutes ago, but they were at least fifteen minutes too late.

He flashed for some reason on an image of his red tricycle on the green lawn of their old house in Skokie. The red trike that had disappeared one night, and he'd cried and cried the next day, because he just couldn't understand how someone could do that, just take his bike like that.

Now he was thirty-nine years old and looking at the body of a woman, a wife, killed by her husband—because, what? She'd burned his casserole? She'd forgotten to wash his favorite shirt?—and Ray still couldn't figure it out.

"Ray, should I call the coroner?" Even Fraser sounded tired, completely beat up with it.

"Yeah, that'd be good. Don't get prints on the phone, okay? I'm going to put out an APB on the husband."

They did their thing, and together they waited for the wagon.

///

That night it was beer and sushi, which Ray hadn't liked very much the first time he'd tried it. But Fraser, once he'd moved into Ray's apartment and Ray's bed and started being pushier about everything, was persistent. And after while Ray had gotten to really like it. Now it was his favorite, even over pizza.

Fraser was drinking his beer slowly, one to Ray's two. They had the TV on, but the sound off—some show with polar bears waddling around on snow and ice. Ray watched them and tried to let the day go. The ice was blue and almost glowed, and the polar bears dropped and slid one by one down into the water, all clumsy and graceful and hilarious.

The snow looked clean.

"Fraser, you ever have a bicycle?"

There was a pause, and then Fraser said a little creakily, "Not that I can remember, no. I did have a sled, though." His voice warmed. "It was perfect—my father made it for me during one of his visits. Mother insisted he sand it smooth so I wouldn't get splinters. It was brown and white. The runners were aspen, I think, and it flew like the wind." Now he was smiling wistfully.

"Sounds nice. Where did you keep it?"

"Keep it?" Fraser sounded puzzled, and turned to face him fully.

"Yeah, did you take it inside with you?"

"Oh, no." Fraser grimaced slightly. "I left it in front of the house. Mother yelled at me one time when she tripped over it on the way to the barn."

Ray chewed that over along with his salmon sashimi.

"Why'd we come back to Chicago, anyway?" he said.

The silence was like a wind howl, with Fraser suddenly frozen beside him.

"I don't—I just assumed—" Fraser scrubbed his eyebrow. "This is your home, Ray."

Ray should have known it was something like that. He should have realized Fraser wouldn't ask for something he really wanted. The sushi was about his limit.

"Well, it doesn't have to be. I mean I liked it up there. A hell of a lot." Something in his chest relaxed, eased open. "We could go back, you know."

Fraser was now so tense he was practically vibrating. "Go back...? But what would you—"

"Don't think about it. Don't think, just tell me—if you could, would you live up there with me?"

"Yes." Fraser's thin whisper was like a prayer. "Yes, Ray."

"Okay, then. We'll go."

"Ray—"

"We'll just go, you and me and Dief. And we'll live up there."

"Ray." Fraser's hand was on his leg and hanging on tight like he was falling.

Ray smiled. "And you'll make me a sled, all right?"

"Yes, Ray. I'll make you a sled." Fraser let go of his thigh and suddenly crushed him close. Ray hugged him back even tighter.

"But Fraser? It's gotta be red."



.....................
2008.02.29

Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: 2008-02-29 09:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jillsjourney.livejournal.com
Rosebud the tricycle! That was a great use of a few words to convey a lot of subtly-layered meaning.

Date: 2008-02-29 06:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
hah! Rosebud. Thanks jj.

Date: 2008-02-29 09:19 am (UTC)
eledhwenlin: (Default)
From: [personal profile] eledhwenlin
Awwwwww. :D

Date: 2008-02-29 06:43 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-02-29 10:10 am (UTC)
luzula: a Luzula pilosa, or hairy wood-rush (Default)
From: [personal profile] luzula
Eeee! Yes!

He should have realized Fraser wouldn't ask for something he really wanted. The sushi was about his limit.

Oh, Fraser.

Date: 2008-02-29 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
:) moobie! Thank you, Luz.

Date: 2008-02-29 10:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitten-of-rain.livejournal.com
Aww, I love this. Beautiful.

Date: 2008-02-29 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Thanks, kittenchop. :)

Date: 2008-02-29 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grey853.livejournal.com
What a great story, short, but poignant and sweet at the same time. Loved it.

Date: 2008-02-29 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
\o/ Thank you kindly!

Date: 2008-02-29 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myownghost.livejournal.com
this is so poignant. there are worlds of longing locked tight in fraser, and i like that you brought that out so compactly. in ray, too, for that matter. they're so well suited.

Date: 2008-02-29 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
thanks, ghost!

they're so well suited.

yay. *smishes them*

Date: 2008-02-29 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sisterofdream.livejournal.com
Awww! I loved this! Ray's lost bike and his future sled! So cute, the boys are.

Date: 2008-02-29 07:07 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-02-29 01:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurie-ky.livejournal.com
I've just started reading in this fandom and you are one of the reasons. Really liked the emotions you've layered on here. And why do I think the sushi stands for sex with Fraser? ::kicks my subconscious::
Laurie

Date: 2008-02-29 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
And why do I think the sushi stands for sex with Fraser?

Because it does! You smarty.

I'm so glad you are reading dS... (hangs out hope you will start to write it as well ... :)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] laurie-ky.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-03-01 05:32 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-02-29 01:34 pm (UTC)
ext_14817: (F/K: Hands)
From: [identity profile] meresy.livejournal.com
OMG that's . . . awwww! *wibbles* &hearts &hearts &hearts

Date: 2008-02-29 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Heh, made you wibble! :) Tx, meresy.

Date: 2008-02-29 01:43 pm (UTC)
akamine_chan: Created by me; please don't take (Default)
From: [personal profile] akamine_chan
But Fraser, once he'd moved into Ray's apartment and Ray's bed and started being pushier about everything, was persistent.

I loved the fact that Fraser is comfortable enough with Ray to be pushy. But still too reserved to ask for what he really wants. So beautifully Fraser.

Lovely work, arrow.

Date: 2008-02-29 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Thanks.

I loved the fact that Fraser is comfortable enough with Ray to be pushy. But still too reserved to ask for what he really wants

Niice. *twirls you*

Date: 2008-02-29 01:58 pm (UTC)
ext_15124: (PrettyCallum)
From: [identity profile] hurry-sundown.livejournal.com
I was in bed trying to sleep when they made me do this.

You're not actually complaining, are you? Because they can come live in my head, if you are.

He should have realized Fraser wouldn't ask for something he really wanted. The sushi was about his limit.

*hearts*

Date: 2008-02-29 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
No no, not complaining. More like whining. :) And drinking lots of coffee today.
But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Glad you liked!

Date: 2008-02-29 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com
::sniffles happily:: I can see why once you got the idea you'd have to write it. Loved it. All the threads winding together like that.

Date: 2008-02-29 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
*smishes you UP*

Meanwhile, I'm ogling your Blair banner (http://janedavitt.livejournal.com/944752.html) and asking myself the same question: why, oh why?

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-02-29 07:23 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-03-01 04:28 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-02-29 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leonandra.livejournal.com
Awww......they are so cute together!

Yay, for Ray for figuring out what Fraser wants and what he himself wants. I can just see him flying over the snow in his red sledge.

Date: 2008-02-29 07:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
**hearts that image**

Thank you, leonandra!

Date: 2008-02-29 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] green-grrl.livejournal.com
Oh, I love this. And I absolutely get Ray -- murder, theft ... don't people know the world isn't supposed to be like that? Your themes so wonderfully weave into each other.

Happily Canadian ever after, yes. ♥

Date: 2008-02-29 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Happily Canadian ever after, yes.

   

Date: 2008-02-29 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brigantine.livejournal.com
because he just couldn't understand how someone could do that, just take his bike like that.

Yes! Exactly! People do these things, and maybe we understand it math-wise in our head, that A + B = C, but we don't really get why A or B should be enough reason to lead to C.

Wee!Fraser could keep his sled outdoors, and not have it stolen. Yay! I love how that's catalytic, making Ray wonder why the hell they live in a city where people do stuff that makes no sense, and then the Ray Lightbulb goes on.

When Fraser builds Ray a sled it'll be big enough for two, yeah?

I love this!

Date: 2008-02-29 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Your comment made me grin all over, brigantine.

When Fraser builds Ray a sled it'll be big enough for two, yeah?

Heck yeah. Plus Dief makes three. :)

So glad you enjoyed.

Date: 2008-02-29 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pir8fancier.livejournal.com
My daughter has "adopted" a polar bear at the San Francisco zoo, which she has named Waffle. This story reminded me of that and how they move and how pure they seem. Nice story.

Date: 2008-02-29 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Waffle! How wonderful. I have to go visit.

Thank you for the comment, bubbe.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-06-30 07:25 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-02-29 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mmmarmalade.livejournal.com
Oh, fuzzywuzzyheartgoodness. Yum.

Date: 2008-03-01 04:16 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-02-29 09:41 pm (UTC)
jesse_the_k: text: Be kinder than need be: everyone is fighting some kind of battle (expectant)
From: [personal profile] jesse_the_k
I'm so lucky that I stumbled into this marvelous fandom just as you started to give us your juicy, woobie, nummy fic!

The first dS fic I read was "All of us drown."

You set the standard for me -- thanks!

Date: 2008-03-01 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Gosh, thanks jesse. I'm so glad you found us!

Date: 2008-02-29 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zabira.livejournal.com
as usual, you've somehow managed to make me love ray and fraser EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY DO, a feat which SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE at this point. (hi, i abuse caps.)

for some reason, the thing that tugged at my heart the most here was the picture of ray eating sushi because fraser had coaxed him in to trying it. it's such a domestic and genuine and LOVING detail, and i went all mushy just at that, and couldn't recover.

but OH! ray realizing that fraser would never ask to live in canada was also beautiful, and SO VERY "THEM."

thank you, my friend, for another lovely story.

Date: 2008-03-01 04:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
::hearts them, hearts YOU::

I just know Ray would eat raw fish for Fraser. :) Thank you for the sweet note, pookie.

Date: 2008-03-01 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] simplystars.livejournal.com
I almost had sushi for lunch today. Now I wish I had. ♥

And I second [livejournal.com profile] eledhwenlin's "Awwwwwwwwwww." I remember my sled, too. And making a snow cat with my mom, because we didn't get enough snow to make an entire snowman, and using Lifesavers for the mouth. :)

Date: 2008-03-01 04:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Snow cat! So cute. I'm glad you liked, stars.

Date: 2008-03-01 07:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] viciouscats.livejournal.com
Aww! *hearts*

Date: 2008-03-01 10:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
*hearts you more bettah*

Date: 2008-03-01 07:22 am (UTC)
ext_3554: dream wolf (Default)
From: [identity profile] keerawa.livejournal.com
Oh! I love the way Ray's brain jumps side-ways from this horrible, unbelievable crime, a man murdering his own wife, to his first shock at man's inhumanity to man, his tricycle.

The sushi was about his limit is so very Fraser. And hurray for Ray recognizing that, and taking steps.

Date: 2008-03-01 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Yay, I'm glad that echo worked for you...thank you so much, keerawa.

Date: 2008-03-01 07:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com
Awwww...*sniffle*. Perfect.

Date: 2008-03-01 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
\o/ yayness.

When God Makes a Joke, Nobody's Laughing

Date: 2008-03-01 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maxinemayer.livejournal.com
Well, you got me crying here! Beautifiul. Perfect fic. Thank you for sharing.
Love, max
P.S. - Great great voices!

Re: When God Makes a Joke, Nobody's Laughing

Date: 2008-03-01 10:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
Thank you so much, max!

Date: 2008-03-01 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nos4a2no9.livejournal.com
Oh my. I'd missed this, somehow, and I'm kicking myself for not being more attentive on LJ. This was spectacular. The characterizations (and character voices) were wonderful, and you have this amazing ability to distill a perfect moment between these two people and then expand upon it so the moment becomes symbolic of their whole relationship.

This line made my heart swell four (more) sizes for Fraser: He should have realized Fraser wouldn't ask for something he really wanted. The sushi was about his limit.

Ray's realization there, about how difficult Fraser finds it to ask anything for himself, made me love Ray more, too. Oh boys. And there's a lesson there, about complimentary spirits, and I adored not only Ray's realization, but his own answering decision to get out of the city before it swallows him up. Ray recognizing his own need and simultaneously giving Fraser something he wants? Brilliant. That's a lot of amazing packed into a tiny fic, but I loved it dearly. Thank you so much for posting!

Date: 2008-03-01 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
I adored not only Ray's realization, but his own answering decision to get out of the city before it swallows him up

Yes! I have to wonder how long a man as passionate and caring as Ray would truly survive doing such a difficult job.

I'm so glad you enjoyed, my sweet. Thank you for such a detailed comment!
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