arrow00: (puzzledjim)
[personal profile] arrow00
Title: The Visible Man
Author: [livejournal.com profile] arrow00
Pairing: Jim/Blair
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,270
Categories: FT, H/C
Warnings: none
A/N: Written for [livejournal.com profile] sentinel_thurs's glass challenge


The Visible Man

By Arrow



Hospitals, as a rule, made Jim itch with more than bad memories. He could swear he was feeling molecules of cleaning solvents mixed with dead bacteria and God knew what else drifting to settle on his exposed skin moment by moment. Actually, Sandburg probably would have wanted to run some tests on it if he weren't lying there unconscious with a concussion and a hairline fracture to his ulna.

How many broken bones was that, Jim wondered, and how many concussions could that noggin survive before Sandburg lost some IQ points and risked ending up with Parkinson's in his old age, and why was a guy like that, a smart guy with a brilliant future and degrees on his wall, still knocking around after two years with a sad-sack cop and his cronies when he always, always seemed to end up here?

Almost run over by a damned ice cream truck, of all things. Sure, driven by a raving lunatic who'd already killed two little kids, and if Jim hadn't pulled out of a zone (all by his lonesome, thank you very much) and jumped up onto a fire escape and then hauled Sandburg up with him, hence fracturing Blair's ulna in the process, he would have ended up with more than a cast on his arm and a slight concussion.

But still. Two years of this shit and Jim was starting to think any sane civilian would have moved on by now, pulled together his notes like a smart little professor and slapped together something any thesis committee would have been happy enough with. It was almost like Blair wanted to stick around.

God knew Jim liked having him there, his curly-haired shadow in all things. Jim wasn't inclined to think about things too deeply, or question his good luck, and didn't have a lot of time or opportunity to do so; or at least he told himself he didn't. But there were some times when he had to ask himself if he wasn't purely full of shit.

This was one of those times. Because looking at Blair lying there, Jim finally had to admit he'd been riding on a train too afraid to look at the destination. Afraid there might not be one.

Too damned glad just to have a ticket.

And that was pretty pathetic. He was almost forty years old and he'd handed over his whole life to this...this kid. Except Blair wasn't a kid, he was a man, there was no denying that.

Jim leaned forward on the chair and rested his elbows on his knees to get a closer look.

It was usually hard to take a good look at Sandburg—he was always in motion, a dozen wacky ideas or theories or facts spilling out of his mouth at any given second. At rest, in spite of his injuries, he didn't look young or fragile. He looked bruised, sure, a little busted up, and there was fiberglass dust on his fingers and trapped in the crook of his elbow, and he'd have a nice black eye come morning, but he looked solid. He was tough. Tough enough to back Jim up today against a psycho.

"He's gotta be invisible, Jim. I'm telling you—who gets around these kinds of neighborhoods with nobody noticing him?"

A smart guy, his Darwin. His professor.

Jim cringed and rubbed his hands over his face. He remembered the time Sandburg almost took off on an expedition to Borneo. God, it'd felt like Jim's heart was going to shatter, as if all it would take was a single tap, much as he played it off like he didn't care. But Blair gave up the slot he was offered, saying he'd figured it out, that it was all about friendship.

"Is that what it's all about, Chief?" Jim muttered, then took a quick look. But Blair didn't stir.

What Jim had wondered, in that little spot in the back of his mind where he allowed that kind of thinking, was if maybe it wasn't all about just that. If maybe it was all about them. That heat between them. Because they had something, a kind of flow going that, when it was right, felt like the best kind of mission. The kind where you knew everything the other guy was thinking, and you moved through each maneuver like a silent dance, and you couldn't fail in your objective. It felt smooth, like forty year-old scotch, like raw silk.

Like sucking cock.

Jim groaned and stretched out his leg to give himself some room.

So, how the hell was he supposed to give that up? Sometimes, when Blair looked at him, Jim felt like one of those kits they'd put together in science class—The Visible Man. Transparent as glass. And then Jim figured Blair must know what he wanted so badly, so what was the point of talking about it? What was the point in asking? And how could Sandburg just sit there and not want it too?

What the fuck was so great about Borneo that he could even think about taking off, anyway?

As if he were tuned in to pick up on Jim in pissed-off mode, Blair suddenly stirred in the hospital bed, his left foot kicking up the sheet to bare his socked foot. He grumbled something, smacked his lips once, and then his eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, Chief," Jim said. "Welcome back."

"Rogrmf?"

"Yep," Jim agreed sagely and got up to pour some chlorine-smelling water from the beige pitcher. "Here, have some water." He pushed the button to raise the head of Blair's bed, then held the cup to his lips.

"Thanks," Blair said hoarsely. "'Time is it?"

"Little before midnight."

"Wow. I really conked out."

Jim shrugged. "Painkillers always do that to you, you know that."

"Yeah."

"So, they said you could take off whenever you woke up. All you have to do is put your shoes on and sign out."

Blair started to rub his eyes with his casted hand, winced, then switched to finish the maneuver. "Shit, this is gonna suck."

"Only four weeks this time."

"Only four weeks."

"Hey, you still have that voice software stuff, right?" Jim said, trying to stay upbeat.

Blair rolled his eyes and then groaned.

Leaning over the bed, Jim said, a little more softly, "Take it easy, okay? Don't forget you took a good knock." He rested his hand on Blair's arm just above the cast. Blair raised his head, and Jim froze suddenly.

There it was. That look. God.

The Visible Man.

For too long a moment Jim couldn't move, could only wait, limbs locked, blood rushing under his skin. He'd never frozen in combat, but he was petrified now, not with fear, but with a sense of the inevitable, with a need for resolution.

But Blair just stared at him, eyes wide, so damned blue they were like panes of stained glass.

"Jim?" Said with a question in it. An entire world.

So Jim moved, closing his fingers around Blair's arm, rubbing away the dust from the cast with his thumb, and he said, "It's not only about friendship, is it, Chief?" his voice a rusty hinge.

Blair smiled suddenly, a hopeful, brilliant flash that made Jim wonder just how transparent he'd really been, after all, and he was startled by the sudden surge of want that pulsed in the base of his throat, in his chest, in his cock.

Whoa. His mouth dry, he swallowed and said shakily, "I can smell the commissary from here. I think they're having mashed potatoes, overcooked green beans, and, uh, broiled chicken."

"Sounds awful," Blair said, still smiling. "Let's get the hell home."



ETA: There's now a little comment epilog to this piece.

.......................
2009.08.15

The Visible Man toy, for those who might be curious.


Date: 2009-08-16 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tbrook.livejournal.com
\o/ Love the tension you build-- love the description of their "flow", love "panes of stained glass" and the "want that pulsed at the base of his throat"... OK, love it all!:)

Date: 2009-08-16 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
eeee! thank you, sweet girl!

Date: 2009-08-16 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurie-ky.livejournal.com
Love the way you have them make that slight sideways motion that shifts them from friends to lovers. Lovely phrasing, too, with the train and the ticket and Blair's eyes.

On another fandom note, I am now halfway through season two of Due South, and boy, do I love this show. I adore the characters, but I also really enjoy the way they tie in the music, both the theme song and the special emphasis songs for each show.

Laurie

Date: 2009-08-16 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
hee hee, I'm so in love with the music myself. did you see the chinatown episode and the way they mixed the music with the scene where the old gentleman carried the gun in the box to what was essentially his death?

and thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed my little dive into Jim's vigil.

Date: 2009-08-16 06:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurie-ky.livejournal.com
I have seen it but at the moment I can't recall which song was used. Whoever did the music mojo for the series really had great insticts. And using Sarah Mclaughlin for Victoria's Secrets was soooo angsty.

Laurie

Date: 2009-08-16 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
it was, wasn't it? ::sighs::

Date: 2009-08-16 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redgirl72928.livejournal.com
We've seen Jim keep a vigil in canon, but I like the idea of getting into his head. This is simply beautiful. I like Jim's ruminations on their relationship and the idea of their "flow".

You've also used details to draw out the image very well. The plaster dust on Blair's fingers, the socked foot sticking out from under the covers, the chlorine-smelling water.

Thanks so much for sharing.



Date: 2009-08-16 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
oh, thank you! it's so lovely to hear those details caught you.

Date: 2009-08-16 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mab-browne.livejournal.com
There's that flow - and such gorgeous images. :-)

Date: 2009-08-16 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
thank you kindly, mab!

Date: 2009-08-16 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurie-ky.livejournal.com
THANK YOU KINDLY!

Wow, I get it now.

Laurie

Date: 2009-08-16 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com
It really isn't. Glad Jim clued in finally!

Date: 2009-08-16 03:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
poor buttercup. he thinks he's so obvious.

Date: 2009-08-16 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] m-lasha.livejournal.com
There can never be enough hurt Blair with Jim comforting him. :)

Date: 2009-08-16 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
aw, yeah!

Date: 2009-08-16 04:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spuffyduds.livejournal.com
Mmmmmm. I love that Jim notices the chlorine in the water, even with everything else going on.... Your stuff is always a treat, sug.

Date: 2009-08-16 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
aw, thanks, kitten-chop. I can imagine his distaste, is all. he's so prissy.

how are you??

Date: 2009-08-16 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dawnebeth.livejournal.com
so damned blue they were like panes of stained glass. --just lovely.

Really nice story--Jim's awaking to the thought of not just being visible, but really seeing Blair, too.

Dawn

Date: 2009-08-16 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
oh, sweet. yeah, we all feel pretty transparent, I think. it just ain't so. thanks, Dawn.

Date: 2009-08-16 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com
Ah, yes, Arrow writing Jim POV ::happy, happy sigh:: Lovely to see you writing these two again. Jim finally had to admit he'd been riding on a train too afraid to look at the destination. Afraid there might not be one.

Too damned glad just to have a ticket.
The Visible Man indeed. And why I love your writing so, because you always make Jim's train of thought so beautifully lyrical, yet keep him resolutely in character.

Thank you, this was a great way to start a Sunday.

Date: 2009-08-16 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
you know, one of my favoritist stories is the portable jack kerouac (http://www.skeeter63.org/soulcake/kerouac.html) because I really, really do see Jim as having a poetic heart, but in a gruff, unforced way. his words kind of fall out like rough rocks, not polished stones, but they tumble pretty nicely.

and I *smish* you this fine Sunday!

Date: 2009-08-16 08:42 am (UTC)
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (TS: Manly Hug)
From: [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com
This is gorgeous! I love how much they are so obviously on the same page when Blair smiles. A lovely moment in a lovely fic.

Date: 2009-08-16 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
aw, sweet! thank you!

Date: 2009-08-16 09:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pattrose.livejournal.com
This was a wonderful look into how Jim realized exactly how he felt about Blair. He's no dummy and neither is Blair. This was a great read on a night when I can't sleep, so it was extra nice for me. Thank you.
Hugs, Patt

Date: 2009-08-16 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
hope you got some good zzzz's in, Patt.

Date: 2009-08-16 11:21 am (UTC)
ext_9226: (Default)
From: [identity profile] snailbones.livejournal.com


I love it - you can almost picture Jim slowly but surely reaching all the right conclusions. Just gorgeous, thank you.

Date: 2009-08-16 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
he's a rusty ol' wheel, our Jim. :) tyk.

Date: 2009-08-16 01:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quyllur.livejournal.com
I always love your stories. I love the images you present to us. This is absolutely lovely. Thank you and I can't wait for Jim to get Blair HOME!

Date: 2009-08-16 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
I think the first thing he does is plant Blair in his own big bed, because "I don't know how you can sleep on that lumpy piece of crap anyway, Chief. And this way I can keep my eye on you." And Blair goes along with it, a little dazed from the pain killers so Jim feels like he's taking advantage, and stays strictly on his own side of the bed, but sometime in the night Blair rolls over and thumps Jim with his cast, so Jim puts a pillow on his stomach and rests the cast on top, and of course that means he has to wrap his arm around Blair's shoulder to hold him in place so he doesn't get jostled and hurt himself. Pure practicality. Except now he has his arms full of Blair. Not a bad thing, really. He almost doesn't want to fall asleep.

So he doesn't. He just watches the clouds moving across the skylight and listens to Blair breathing slow and unlocks that little room in the back of his brain and hears himself think, Finally.

Date: 2009-08-16 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snycock.livejournal.com
Beautiful story. I love Jim's musings on how he and Blair work together so well, and his step-by-step acceptance of his feelings - I loved the bit about "the part of his brain where he allowed himself to think about things like this". You do Jim-voice so amazingly well.

Date: 2009-08-16 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
oh, thank you. that's so wonderful to hear. it's funny, because I just wrote a little comment epilog (http://arrow00.livejournal.com/43006.html?thread=1369598#t1369598) where I mention that little part of Jim's brain. I do think he's pretty damned good at compartmentalizing.

Date: 2009-08-16 06:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] edioval.livejournal.com
Oh, happy day, Arrow writing J/B, life is good. I'm sitting here with a smile on my face, loving the way your Jim thought he was so Visible, and picturing Blair looking up at him with his wide eyes as the clue bus was finally caught. I mean, the clue train, I did like the way you phrased that section, Jim not caring about the destination, just happy to have a ticket. You are one of my favorite writers, you know that, right? I hope your TS muse strikes again, my friend!
Elaine

Date: 2009-08-16 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
\o/ thank you my friend! I have such a fond place in my heart for these two, I find myself always coming back, don't you worry.

Date: 2009-08-16 07:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zahiya.livejournal.com
“Jim finally had to admit he'd been riding on a train too afraid to look at the destination. Afraid there might not be one.
Too damned glad just to have a ticket.”

Nice how Jim is arriving at the "destination". So is it true for him:
The journey is the reward?
(But getting Blair is better ;-D)

Date: 2009-08-16 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
heh. I do think he's smart enough to let it carry him. the original name of this piece was 'overthink', which is a dangerous thing. :)

Date: 2009-08-17 12:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thismaz.livejournal.com
Oh, lovely. Beautifully paced, the tension built so slowly, but so satisfactorily. I loved the epilogue too.

Date: 2009-08-20 08:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow00.livejournal.com
thank you!

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