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arrow00Title: Daily Atrocities
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
arrow00
Pairing: Jim/Blair
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jim is annoyed.
Now with podfic read by kalakirya!
Notes: Has a sorta sequel: Anal-retentive.
.....................
2007.06.19
(Note: the sorta sequel to this is Anal-Retentive.)
Author:
arrow00Pairing: Jim/Blair
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jim is annoyed.
Now with podfic read by kalakirya!
Notes: Has a sorta sequel: Anal-retentive.
Daily Atrocities Perpetrated by Blair Sandburg
(The Abridged List)
As Compiled and Edited by Det. James Ellison, C.P.D.
- Forgets his shoes in the entryway.
- Borrows my razor so I end up getting nicks.
- Mixes colors with the whites.
- Always leaves three (3) swampy, stinking towels on bathroom floor in the morning.
- Flushes toilet repeatedly at 9:59 p.m., "In order to make a point."
- Buys granola-ass "organic substitute" for Frosted Flakes. Claims it's "Just as good as that processed stuff." [Editor's Note: This is a lie.]
- Wears boots that leave black skid marks on hardwood floor.
- Squeezes toothpaste from the middle of the tube. Says it "Tastes better than squeezing from the end," which makes no goddamned sense.
- Two words: back rent
- Slips seitan into stir-fry and thinks the Sentinel in the house won't fucking notice that it's not real beef.
- Puts little notes in the memo lines of checks, e.g., "Dear Gas&Electric Monopoly, thank you for taking my hard-earned cash so your company can continue strip mining in the Appalachians." [Ed. Note: Try fitting that in the register.]
- Licks his lower lip repeatedly for no apparent reason, causing me to have uncomfortable reactions in the bullpen. (Corollary: stares at my crotch and raises his eyebrow so I'll know he's been doing it on purpose.)
- Makes us stay late in the office so he can finish his game of Free Cell.
- Refuses to settle for quickie by the door.
- Won't walk naked so I can watch his butt going from the shower to the bedroom.
- Wears too many layers so it takes too long to strip him for sex.
- Refuses to replace the cap on the lube.
- Always squirms so hard when I'm fucking him that I have to nail that tight ass down to the bed until he screams and comes and finally goes limp so I can settle down and do him properly.
- Catches me later when I'm on my belly and works his tongue up my ass even though he knows it'll make me come so hard I can't move afterward so I end up with spunk flaking all over my stomach the next morning which I don't need to tell you itches something fierce when you have sensitive skin.
- Makes me need him like I've never needed anybody.
- Tells me he loves me.
- Tells me he'll never leave me.
- Always kisses the side of my face just as I'm falling asleep.
.....................
2007.06.19
(Note: the sorta sequel to this is Anal-Retentive.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 05:54 am (UTC)Thank you.
Daily Atrocities
Date: 2007-06-20 12:02 pm (UTC)Thanks, Ms. Arrow, for starting off my day with a smile!
Re: Daily Atrocities
Date: 2007-06-20 07:21 pm (UTC)God, these guys crack me up. I watched the ep last night where Jim is packing up all of Sandburg's stuff and waving the African mask around.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 06:28 am (UTC)very nice transitions from funny to hot to sweet
no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 11:37 am (UTC)::hugs all the bothered and hot and just-right amount of melt of this::
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Date: 2007-06-20 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 12:16 pm (UTC)Sweetie... those last, oh I dunno, 12 problems? I think they can more or less be ignored, don't you? I mean, Babe... he has his tongue up your ass and, I dunno about you, but I'm a bit jealous! Gods, but that must feel good!
LMAO!
Love Karie!
no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:47 pm (UTC)You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but have you ever woken up with your belly glued to the sheets?
Yrs most sincerely, etc.
:)
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Date: 2007-06-20 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 01:37 pm (UTC)Oh, that Blair...:;shakes head fondly:;
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Date: 2007-06-20 07:49 pm (UTC)I think Blair might have a rebuttal. So to speak.
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Date: 2007-06-20 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 01:48 pm (UTC)Excellent!
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Date: 2007-06-20 07:50 pm (UTC)Thank you, spuffy.
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Date: 2007-06-20 03:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:51 pm (UTC)Thx, sassy.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:53 pm (UTC)Thanks. :)
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Date: 2007-06-20 06:07 pm (UTC)Thanks! *g*
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Date: 2007-06-20 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-21 02:09 am (UTC)Funny, touching, and hot.
Laurie
no subject
Date: 2007-06-21 03:32 am (UTC)Thanks, Laurie.
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Date: 2007-06-21 07:03 am (UTC)Love your icon - that made me laugh as well.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-23 02:52 am (UTC)The icon is from
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Date: 2007-06-21 02:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-23 02:53 am (UTC)Daily Atrocities
Date: 2007-07-16 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 02:13 am (UTC)Really.
Not.
:-}
no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 04:49 am (UTC)I was kind of putting it off because I couldn't figure a Blair angle. Not sure if I did it justice.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 06:34 pm (UTC)I started out with a giggle, moved on to cackling, started getting a little *hot* and I totally ended up a puddle of goo from the *awwwww, so sweet*. Loved this soooooo much. :)
*hugs you tight*
no subject
Date: 2007-10-03 06:04 am (UTC)11# Puts little notes in the memo lines of checks, e.g., "Dear Gas&Electric Monopoly, thank you for taking my hard-earned cash so your company can continue strip mining in the Appalachians."
YES OMG you know those people too, huh? kjadf;;jkladjklf
(Corollary: stares at my crotch and raises his eyebrow so I'll know he's been doing it on purpose.)
Heh, totally.
which I don't need to tell you itches something fierce when you have sensitive skin.
Hee! Yeah, oh, Jim suffers.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-13 08:11 am (UTC)somehow I missed this comment. and bumming about it, because you are the sweetest.
poor suffering woobie, all sticky. *pets him with damp cloth*
his live is *very* hard.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-13 08:31 pm (UTC)I'm not particularly sweet actually -- I just really like your fic. *g*