writing blather: jesus christ with the crack pipe

[arrow00]

I am having the wackiest, transcendental writing experience right now, so I just had to take a breather or get bursted into flames or my fingers might break off or something. I swear to God writing can be such the sweet, sweet crack sometimes, so good I'd rather do it than do my boyfriend (sick, I know. sick.)

And then sometimes it can suck ass like a Hoover mega ultra-vac. One of those big, green ones with the spinning hurricane in the middle so you can see the suckage in action.

But, right now? The crack pipe. Why did I get this? Four years ago I had no idea I could even do this—what was I smoking then?

How come I was thirty-six fucking years old before I figured out I can do this THING, this amazingly big THING that changes everything in the world of my head?

And the most beautiful part? Even when it sucks, it's good. And unless I am horribly mutilated in a freak bowling accident, no one can ever take this away from me. Well, the muse can go away, it's true. The desire to write can just phwooot! like the wind. But it has always come back so far, and I'm starting to trust it always will.

Anyway, all of the above is by way of apology that I haven't had a chance to respond to all the lovely comments I got on Oblivious (you people are just so goddamned generous I wanta bust into tears or something) and I am truly sorry and will do so tomorrow, but right now I'm wacky on the pipe.

~peacelove~

Comments

[dodificus.livejournal.com]

Don't feel obliged to reply to this, I'd much rather you spent your time writing than answering my pointless comments:)

But I just wanted to say that this right here put a huge smile on my face.

[zabira.livejournal.com]

what SHE said! *points up to dodificus*

i loved reading this, though. it's exhilarating just HEARING about your transcendental writing experience, and about your love for the whole darn thing. AMEN. we are so glad you found it, arrow!

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

What Zabira said *points up* :)

So happy for you.

You've only been writing four years? OH MY GOD.

You are a prodigy. Srsly, most of us write our whole lives before writing something good at 36.

That said, I think I understand. Four years ago, I couldn't draw at all. So I kind of get it.

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

YAY!

*Looks SO forward to the product of your crack binge*

But don't Bogart that pipe, man! Pass it over to meeeeeee!

*loves on you*

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

I was 38 when I wrote my first fanfic and it was life-altering, those fumbled, single-spaced, stilted words...whole new world discovering I could do this new and shiny thing.

Indescribable except as writers, we still go ahead and try to describe it ::g::

::smooches you:;

[laurie-ky.livejournal.com]

It is addicting, isn't it. I was fifty-three and when I started writing it connected me back to, really, my childhood, when making up stories was something I did a lot. Still scratching my head as to why I never thought to try writing them down. Having a computer helps a lot, especially being able to delete and edit so easily. Not sure I would have done it otherwise.
Laurie

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

Hooray! This made me so happy - I love to hear about these kind of experiences because when it happens, it's magical, isn't it? When you hit that groove and the words start flowing easily and you can't type fast enough to keep up with your brain, you start to think this is what you were meant to do. It's much better than drugs or sleep or (yeah) sex :-)

Anyway, go take another hit off the crack pipe, and \o/ to you!

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

You make me nostalgic for my fic-writing days. (: So glad you're having fun with it!

[maxinemayer.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel! I was nearly fifty when I wrote my first stories (for a zine of my own in the Beauty and the Beast, the series fandom) - and I've never felt the same about myself since. I don't always write, I've had many off-years in between. But that knowledge that you can do this thing! It never fails to thrill. Congratulations - you are one terrific writer and what you say here makes me happy for you!
Love, max

[mab-browne.livejournal.com]

I didn't start writing until I was nearly forty. Sometimes the late discovery of something just means that you appreciate it all the more.

And yes, you should be delighted in what you can do. You're giving pleasure to yourself and others, and that, that is pretty damn nifty. :-)

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

"I'll have what she is having."

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

I, for one, am happy you discovered this talent and then decided to share it with the class. I give you an A plus.

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

::grins back::

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

thanks, pookie. I feel so damned lucky to have found it, and to have found you guys.

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

It's amazing, finding something you can love after so many years of thinking you knew everything about yourself. Kinda like a slash story. :)

I'm so glad you are pursuing drawing. !!

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

It's all yours, bubbe. If you don't mind the cooties.

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

I was 38 when I wrote my first fanfic and it was life-altering, those fumbled, single-spaced, stilted words

That's it exactly! I remember thinking, "How the hell do I make him get from the kitchen to the bedroom?" and then, after that, it was all type type type and learn learn learn, and everything so shiny and exciting. And it still is. Like I'm still writing my first story.

Oh, that's not it. You're right: it's freakin' indescribable.

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

Still scratching my head as to why I never thought to try writing them down

I know! Why didn't it occur to us, *ever*? But we're so lucky it finally did. :)

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

\o/ back atcha. Your beautiful new story (http://nos4a2no9.livejournal.com/180827.html) looks like one of those magical moments, trapped in amber or something clear and glittery. :)

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

How come you stopped? Was it vidding and other fandom-related stuff became your new passion and you didn't have time?

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

I was nearly fifty when I wrote my first stories

See? That's amazing. So many of us discovered the joys of writing solely through fandom. As if we couldn't believe, in just reading professional fiction, that is was anything we could do on our own.

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

You too! (discovering it later in life) It looks like many of us share the same joyful discovery.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

A lot of reasons, but mostly it was a combination of being less gonadally inclined toward fandom in general over the past several years (and I always wrote from my gonads), and being a much better vidder than I ever was a fic author. So I'm putting my creative energies where they seem to want to go.

Occasionally I miss writing fic, but mostly I'm happy to be doing what I do.

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

"Sugar-free mocha and hold the cocaine."

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

Thank you much, my sweet.

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sometimes I think my gonads are the ones doing all the typing. :D

I can totally relate to going where your strengths are, which is why I don't vid very often. :) But I still do it on occasion just because it's like flexing a totally different muscle. Feels good.

Be seeing you shortly (squee!)

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I admire you for doing both things well -- that strikes me as pretty rare.

And yay, see you soon!

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

I remember the humbling shock of discovering that me, who'd been reading a book a day since age four, educated to degree level, didn't feel confident about how to punctuate dialog. I had to go into my library and take down a book at random to study it.

But there's nothing like writing. Nothing. It's addictive. I'm always astonished when people say they haven't written for months, years; how do they stop? I can't go more than a few days.

[maxinemayer.livejournal.com]

So true, so true! Smiles happily!
Love, max

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

Oh, and yes: I wrote my first fiction in sept of 2004, but I really do think all that day-dreaming I'd been doing my whole life was my warm up or something.

It seems like fantasies keep us sane, and somehow writing them down makes them so much more real.